CSA - Funny Stuff

Ha ha ha, that's funny! (I know we haven't made you laugh yet - but just wait). Check out some hilarious space stuff below - we know we'll have you smiling in no time. Ok, some of it's just fun and intriguing but hey, you have to learn to see the humour in everything.

Space Jokes

Q. Why is a moon rock tastier than an earth rock?
A. Because it is a little meatier (meteor)

First Spaceman: I'm hungry.
Second Spaceman: So am I, it must be launch time!

Pupil: Please Sir! Did you hear that scientists have found life on another planet?
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Pupil: They found fleas on Pluto!

Q. Why was the thirsty alien hanging around the computer?
A. He was looking for the space bar!

Cool Teenage Martian: I was at a party on Mercury last night.
His Friend: Was it any good?
Cool Teenage Martian: No! It was really boring.
His Friend: How come?
Cool Teenage Martian: There was no atmosphere.

Q. Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum?
A. He got stuck in Orbit!

Did You Know?

	Did you know that CSA Astronaut Chris Hadfield plays base guitar in an all-astronaut music band named Max Q?
	Did you know that during Chris's first mission in 1995, he offered gifts to the three crewmen aboard Russia's Mir space station including, Canadian maple syrup candies and a specially made fold-up classical guitar that had to be modified in order to be stored in a shuttle locker?
	Did you know that Chris was the first Canadian to ever leave a spacecraft and float free in space, during Mission STS-100?
	Did you know that Chris is a Top Gun pilot (just like in the movie!)?
	Did you know that Chris was the first Canadian fighter pilot to intercept an enemy Soviet aircraft in our northern airspace and was the first and only Canadian to extend a hand of peace to a Russian cosmonaut during his mission to space station Mir in 1995?
	Did you know that Colonel Hadfield was NASA's Chief CAPCOM, the voice of mission control to astronauts in orbit (have you seen Apollo 13?) for 25 space missions?

	Do you know what Benny the Clown, the 15th Wing - Canadian Forces Base in Moose Jaw, maple syrup and the Year of Older Persons have in common? They all symbolically participated in Space Shuttle Mission STS-96 with Canadian Space Agency Astronaut Julie Payette.
	Did you know the STS-96 crew members motto is: "If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right"?
	Did you know that CSA Astronaut Julie Payette plays piano and sang with the Montréal Symphonic Orchestra Chamber Choir, the Piacere Vocale in Switzerland and the Tafelmusik Baroque Orchestra Choir in Toronto, Canada?

	Did you know that CSA Astronaut Bob Thirsk is one of the hockey coaches of his older son?
		Did you know that Bob has designed an experimental "anti-gravity suit" that may help astronauts more easily adapt to life back on earth following space flight?
	Did you know that Bob served as Chief Astronaut of the Canadian Space Agency in 1993 and 1994? In February 1994 he was Crew Commander for the CAPSULS mission, a simulated 7-day space mission that involved the participation of four Canadian astronauts and several international science teams.

	Did you know that CSA Astronaut Bjarni Tryggvason has about 4000 hours of flight experience, holds an Airline Transport Rating and has been a flight instructor for 10 years? He is currently active in aerobatic flight and recently completed a Captaincy check in the Tutor jet trainer with the Canadian Air Force.

	Did you know that CSA Astronaut Dave Williams was, for four years, Director of the Space and Life Sciences Directorate at NASA's Johnson Space Center in Houston. And that he was the first non-American to hold such a position? Dave was responsible for a team of over 1,200 people devoted to understanding the opportunities and challenges involved in life and work in space.

	Did you know that in 1976-77 CSA Astronaut Steve MacLean was a member of the Canadian National Gymnastics Team?

	Did you know that Marc Garneau was the first Canadian astronaut to ever fly in space, the first to go back and became, in 2000, the first Canadian to return for a third time in space?
	Did you know that Marc has spent 677 hours in space during his three missions?
	Did you know Marc was part of the Canadian Forces (Navy) until 1989 after he retired?

	Did you know that astronauts take their favourite CDs onboard the shuttle? Listening to music helps them pass the time as well as block out some of the noise from the shuttle's engines.
	Did you know that astronauts have menus in space? Haven't you ever wondered how astronauts eat up there?

The Galaxy Song

Just remember that you're standing on a planet that's evolving
and revolving at 900 miles an hour,
It's orbiting at 19 miles a second, so it's reckoned,
the sun that is the source of all our power.
The Sun and you and me, and all the stars that we can see,
are moving at a million miles a day,
In the outer spiral arm, at 40,000 miles an hour,
of the Galaxy we call the Milky Way.

Our Galaxy itself contains 100 billion stars,
it's 100,000 light-years side-to-side,
It bulges in the middle, 16 000 light-years thick,
but out by us it's just 3 000 light-years wide.
We're 30,000 light-years from galactic central point,
we go round every 200 million years,
And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
in this amazing and expanding universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
in all of the directions it can whizz,
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light you know,
twelve million miles a minute, and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
how amazingly unlikely is your birth,
Pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
because there's bugger all down here on Earth.