What do I do if someone I know is being abused by someone in his or her family?
Abuse
is against the law. It’s one of the most serious problems in our society
and is happening more and more frequently. Most young people who have been abused
feel ashamed and guilty. Many have low self-esteem and lack the confidence to
tell their story.
There are many types
of abuse. These can include:
- sexual abuse
- emotional abuse
- physical abuse
- neglect (not providing food or medical care, etc.).
An abuser can be a father, a mother, a brother or sister or someone in a foster
family.
Why is it hard to tell someone else about being abused?
It’s very hard for young people who are being abused by their families
to tell someone about it. They may be taking risks by telling someone about
their abuse. They may:
- be afraid that they’ll be taken away from their homes and friends.
- be worried about the problems they’ll cause in their families.
- be afraid that their families will break up.
- Be afraid that their abusers will hurt them if they tell anyone.
- blame themselves for what happened.
- be afraid that no one will believe their story.
- be afraid that their parents won’t let them go out with friends.
What can you do?
If someone tells you that they’re being abused, then that person is trusting
you. Here are some things you can try to do or say if someone confides in you:
- Stay calm.
- Listen to your friend.
- Let your friend know that you believe him or her.
- Tell your friend you’re sorry it happened.
- Let your friend know it’s not his or her fault.
- Don’t promise to keep it a secret.
- Don’t say everything will be fine now – it may take a long
time before it is.
- Be a good friend. Go out together - go shopping, go see a movie or
just sit and talk about music or things you like to do. Your friend is going
through a tough time and will need some support, company and fun.
Tell an adult
You should tell adult about the abuse, even if your friend doesn’t want
you to. You can talk to a counsellor, a teacher, a doctor or a parent.
You don’t have to go behind your friend’s back to tell an adult.
Tell your friend that, in order to keep them safe, you may have to tell a trusted
adult. You can offer to go with your friend to a professional or the authorities
(for example, a child protection agency) to help them report the abuse. Your
friend will probably feel more secure and cared for if you help report the abuse
with him or her instead of just reporting it yourself without his or her knowledge.
After you tell an adult, if you’re not satisfied with what is being done,
talk to another adult until help is given.
For more information:
Kids Help
Phone (1-800-668-6868)
Kids Help Phone is Canada's only toll-free, national telephone counselling service
for children and youth. This site offers a forum for kids: experiencing violence,
either at home or in their communities; struggling with alcohol and/or drug
abuse; dealing with issues related to suicide. Tips for parents are featured.
Keeping
Kids Safe
This site defines physical, sexual, and emotional abuse and neglect, lists warning
signs of abuse and advises what to do if a child reports abuse. It offers tips
for preventing abuse and for street-proofing children.
Last Modified Date: December 2005
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