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ll women are at risk of experiencing acts of violence, regardless of their race, culture, religion, sexual orientation, social or economic status, age or abilities. Violence can have pervasive and far-reaching effects on women's physical and mental health.

The statistics on violence against women are alarming. In its 1993 Violence Against Women Survey - the most comprehensive survey conducted on violence against women in Canada to date - Statistics Canada reported that 51% of all women had experienced at least one incident of physical or sexual abuse by the time they were 16 years old.

Also frightening is the fact that women are more likely to be assaulted by someone they know, such as their partner or an acquaintance, rather than by a stranger. From the same report, one out of four women had been abused by an intimate partner at least once, and 34% of women who had been abused by a spouse feared their lives were in danger at least once. More recently, the Statistics Canada 2004 Statistical Profile of Family Violence in Canada found that females accounted for 85% of all victims of partner violence reported to police departments. Young women 25 to 34 years of age experienced the highest rates of partner violence.

Violence against women can be defined as the use of physical or emotional force to dominate or isolate. It can include physical or sexual assault, date rape, spousal or partner violence, psychological abuse or financial abuse. Even intimidation is a form of violence.

Here are some examples.

Physical violence

• Hitting, slapping, punching with hands, weapons or objects
• Choking
• Shoving
• Physically restraining

Psychological and emotional violence

• Constant criticism, perhaps about your weight or your abilities as a mother
• Humiliation
• Ridicule
• Put downs

Sexual Assault

• Forcing sex
• Unwanted sexual acts or behaviour
• Unwanted touching

Financial Abuse

• Controlling how you spend money
• Hiding money from you
• Forcing you to hand over your pay cheque
• Using your credit card without your permission

Intimidation

• Threats of physical violence
• Threats of emotional withdrawal
• Threats to harm the children or take them away
• Threats to commit suicide
• Stalking

			Health effects of violence
			Violence can affect a woman's mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. The effects of violence can be devastating. Symptoms will vary with the situation and the type of violence. Some of the short and long-term effects can include: Broken bones, bruising, muscle soreness, headaches, nausea Gynecological complications, fear of sexually-transmitted diseases Sleep disruption, insomnia, nightmares, panic attacks, memory flashbacks Shame, confusion, fear, guilt, humiliation, anger and self-blame Poor self-esteem, chronic depression, suicidal thoughts.

Violence against women is never okay. Too often women who have been abused are made to feel that they are responsible for the violence in their lives. It is important to remember that the "assailant or abuser is responsible for their actions," regardless of the type of violence, says Mary Addison, who is on the board of the Women Abuse Council of Toronto

While women should never be blamed for acts of violence against them, there are some steps women can consider if they are being abused in their relationship. This move to get away from an abusive situation, says Addison, may give a woman a sense of empowerment.

If you feel you are in physical danger, Addison, who is also former Director of the Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence Care Centre at Women's College Hospital in Toronto, recommends you start thinking about an escape or safety plan. Some women may be able to "predict" when violence will occur in their home, says Addison, because they've seen the signs leading up to violence before. You need both to recognize that you are not responsible for the violence, and also that the violence or abuse is not likely to stop, and may even escalate. A safety plan can help. Here are Addison's suggestions.

• Develop a list of emergency telephone numbers that includes police, assaulted women's shelters, and 24-hour crisis centres. Your local crisis centre can help you find a shelter, support services, counselling and social assistance. "The number is usually located in the front of the telephone book and it's the best way to find these things fast," says Addison.
• Plan where to go if you leave. Check out a local shelter. Develop a list of supportive family members or friends with whom you can stay.
• Start a savings account in another bank.
• Remove important papers from your home to a secure place. These may include birth certificates, immigration papers, passports, divorce papers, marriage certificate, driver's license, school records and social insurance cards.
• Remove cheques, cash, credit cards, house and car keys, medications and clothing to a secure place.
• If you have children, develop a safety plan and emergency exit for them.

"When a woman actually leaves an abusive relationship," says Addison, "it is the most dangerous time in terms of her safety."

• Work out "buddy strategies" when going to the car, work and the supermarket.
• Try and have your calls screened at work and where you live.
• If you can afford it, consider getting a cell phone so you can call for help in an emergency, particularly if you are being stalked.
• If you are assaulted, make as much noise as you can to alert the attention of neighbours or passersby.
• Document everything that happens.

Making the decision to leave an abusive or violent relationship can take a long time. "In my experience," says Irene Gabinet, a counsellor and educator at St. Joseph's Women's Health Centre in Toronto, "the longer the relationship, the longer it takes for a woman to make the decision to leave." In a long-term relationship, where a woman has had a child or children, "she may take a year to decide to leave, six months before she actually leaves, and two to three years before she feels healed."

It is a painstakingly slow process for a woman to go through the stages of denial, acceptance, breaking the silence, deciding what to do, taking action and finally, healing. And the process is different for each woman. Family members and friends who want to help must be reminded that they can't, and shouldn't try, to hurry up someone else's decision-making process.

Above all, suggests Gabinet, the love and support offered to a woman in a violent or abusive relationship should be consistent. "But that consistent support may become difficult because supporters don't always understand the timing of these issues," she says. They run the risk of being abusive to the very person they are attempting to support, and re-victimizing the woman without realizing it. Gabinet recommends that anyone offering support to women in abusive relationships expand their own network of support. In addition, she suggests that family and friends learn about the dynamics of abusive relationships. "The more knowledge you have, the more likely you won't be judgmental," she says.

If a woman says she is being abused, or if family and friends suspect she is being abused, they can voice their concerns and offer to help. They can offer support by listening, locating resources and encouraging the development of a plan to get out of the abusive situation.

Violence against women is all too common in our society. With support and options, women can leave an abusive relationship and begin to heal.