Conflict affects us all - no matter who we are or what we do. It finds us at home, at work, on the streets, and it has the potential to create enormous damage. All of us can learn constructive ways to work through conflict. Here are some suggestions to help you through.

• Start with yourself
  Good conflict solving requires that you start with yourself. What is the problem from my point of view? Are my values or beliefs being threatened? What do I really need out of this situation to restore my sense of well-being?
• What does the other person want?
  Unless the other person with whom you are in conflict is truly a bully (he or she wishes only to dominate you), try to examine the problem from his or her point of view. What do you think he or she needs out of this situation to restore a sense of well-being? Is it possible that the other person's values or beliefs are being threatened?
• Listen like you've never listened before.
  Ask the other person to tell you his or her point of view on the situation and listen like you have never listened before. Don't interrupt, don't contradict, don't get your own two cents worth in, just clarify and summarize what you have understood. After you have finished, ask the other person to listen to you.
• Use your imagination.
  Once you have listened to each other, you may recognize that each of you have legitimate needs and you may have developed a new understanding for each other's values. Create several possible ways that both of you can meet your needs while respecting core values. Even in deeply entrenched conflicts, the human capacity to create ways out of difficulties is enormous. Tap into a spirit of optimism and creativity - you can resolve this!
• Seek help when you need it.
  At any stage you can benefit from talking to someone who understands conflict and is trained and experienced in effective conflict resolution techniques. Contact a conflict resolution practicioner in your community to seek advice or to serve as a third party in working through the conflict. Visit Conflict Resolution Network Canada to find a conflict resolution practicioner in your area or for more information, including conflict resolution books, resources, and training opportunities.

Alberta ways through conflict

The Government of Alberta has a number of conflict resolution programs. To be connected toll-free in Alberta to any Alberta government office, dial 310-0000 followed by the area code and phone number of the office you wish to reach.

• Civil Claims Mediation
  In Edmonton, Calgary, and neighbouring communities, free mediation is available to people with civil claims in Provincial Court. For more information call the location nearest you: Calgary (403) 297-5536 or Edmonton (780) 415-2702.
• Parenting After Separation
  This free workshop teaches parents how separation or divorce affects them and their children.
• Family Mediation Services
  This free program provides mediation to parents who qualify (based on income) to resolve disputes involving custody, access, guardianship, or child support.
• Focus on Communication in Separation
  This free course helps parents of young children learn to communicate effectively while parenting apart, so children encounter less conflict.
• For more information about Parenting After Separation, Family Mediation Services, or Focus on Communication in Separation, call the appropriate location for you: Calgary (403) 297-6981, Edmonton (780) 427-8343, or elsewhere in the province (403) 340-7187.

Alberta Energy and Utilities Board
The Alberta Energy and Utilities Board offers the Appropriate Dispute Resolution Program to help Albertans resolve disputes over proposed energy development. For more information visit Alberta Energy and Utilities Board and click on "Public Zone," or phone (403) 297-3700.

Alberta Human Resources and Employment
The Workplace Effectiveness Program works with employers, unions and employees to build relationships that help Alberta enterprises achieve economic success. For more information call (780) 427-8842 or e-mail workplace.effectiveness@gov.ab.ca.

Alberta Municipal Affairs
The Municipal Dispute Resolution Initiative helps Alberta's municipalities, regional boards and commissions resolve disputes through mediation and other forms of conflict resolution. For more information visit Municipal Dispute Resolution Initiative or call (780) 427-2225.