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What is bullying ?
Children's safety is often one of parents' main concerns. Parents today
hope their children are safe at home, at school and at the playground.
Despite the best precautions, there are rare cases in which your child
could be a victim of bullying. The following recommendations may help
your child if he/she is being bullied, or prevent your child from ever
becoming a victim to bullies.
What is bullying? If a youth or a gang at school steals goods or money
from your child, is insulting or shows contempt, threatens or hits your
child, or forces him/her to do things against his/her will; then it's
called bullying. These incidents are rare, but your child could become
a victim. The following useful tips should be read and discussed with
your child.
To prevent bullying
- Your child should not carry a large amount of money.
- Remind your child not to brag about owning expensive things like
a Discman or electronic games.
- In the schoolyard, your child should stay where most of the kids
are playing. Bullies don't like to have witnesses.
- Your child should avoid walking alone. If possible, he/she should
try to walk to and from school with good friends.
- If a schoolmate hits your child, he/she should tell a supervisor
or a teacher immediately.
- When using public transit, he/she should try to sit near other adults.
If your child is being bullied
- Your child must remain calm and not act scared. He/she should try
not to show that he/she is upset or angry because bullies love to get
a reaction. If your child stays calm and hides his/her emotions, bullies
might get bored and leave him/her alone.
- Your child must answer bullies firmly in short sentences such as
"Yes. No. Leave me alone." He/she musn't start a discussion
or argue with bullies to provoke them.
- Remember to tell your child that violence never solved anything.
Your child must avoid fighting. Should he/she feel threatened, he/she
should give the bullies what they want. Remind him/her that personal
property is not worth an injury.
- Your child must then observe the bullies carefully and remember as
much information as possible: height, age, hair colour, clothes, etc.
After your child has been bullied
If your child has been bullied, it is important he/she tell someone as
soon as possible; his/her parents, a teacher or a friend. When a child
becomes a victim of bullying, it is normal to feel upset and afraid as
well as being embarrassed to talk about it.
Your child has one of two choices: not to talk about it and risk that
the situation gets worse, or to talk about it with someone he/she trusts,
either with you his/her parents, a teacher, his/her brother or sister
or even with a friend. Remember to tell him/her to talk about it. By talking,
the child will begin to feel better.
Offer him/her your help. Ask him/her to talk about it. If he/she refuses
to talk and you detect that something just isn't right, communicate with:
- An educator at school if the aggression has taken place at school.
- A coach or supervisor if you think the aggression is taking place
during a sport or leisure activity.
- The bully's parents or any witness if the aggression is taking place
in an unsupervised area (park, street, etc.).
By regularly exchanging information about your child's relationships
with others (students, school educators, friends, etc.) your child will
feel he/she can trust you and will tell you about the things he/she is
dealing with.
If your child is being bullied, you should remind him/her that:
- he/she has the right not to be bullied.
- it is not his/her fault if she/he is bullied.
- he/she should not have to face this on his/her own and that he/she
can confide in you.
- he/she should not try to tackle bullies on his/her own.
Be proactive toward bullying
If your child is being bullied, do something about it! Be proactive towards
bullying. If your child tells you he/she is being bullied, do something
immediately to try to find a solution as quickly as possible.
Once again, it is important to communicate with the proper authorities
:
- An educator at school if the aggression has taken
place at school.
- A coach or supervisor if you think the aggression
has taken place during a sport or leisure activity
- The bully's parents or any witness if the aggression
has taken place in an unsupervised area (park, street, etc.).
- If you need it, don't hesitate to communicate with your local
police.
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