Let's Talk About Sex ... But How?

It is not always easy to broach the subject of sex with students because it is a sensitive issue that touches on our privacy and our vulnerability. Here are a few pointers on attitudes to adopt to help you feel more comfortable presenting the suggested workshops.

On the level of sexuality per se, it is recommended that the teacher:

• Develop a healthy attitude towards his or her own sexuality. We are all sexual beings;
• Be able to assess his or her own values and reactions toward different subjects on sexuality (the teacher can expect to answer questions on contraception, relationships, etc.);
• Have a sound basic knowledge of sexuality so that the class may be taught in the most clear and coherent manner.

In general it is recommended for the teacher to:

• Have great respect and concern for others, whether they be children, adolescents or adults;
• Be able to create an atmosphere of trust which will allow all individuals in the group to be themselves;
• Be sensitive towards the attitudes, values and feelings of others;
• Be capable of respecting the values of people from other cultural communities;
• Be able to communicate efficiently and with warmth, verbally as well as non-verbally;
• Be able to respect the group's or the clientèle's limits as well as its characteristics (e.g., socioeconomic status, or any other trait that distinguishes the group from the teacher);
• Be able to create a relationship of trust and openness with the others while maintaining a professional attitude;
• Be capable of discretion when individuals decide to confide in you;
• Be able to collaborate with one's colleagues and show one's availability (i.e., students will want to talk to a teacher with whom he/she feels comfortable, not necessarily the sexual education teacher).

A Few Tips on How to Improve Discussions and Communication

• Be sincere:
  A sincere attitude will make any communication easier. The teacher should be able to express his/her reservations about certain topics.

• Express discomfort:
  The teacher should not be afraid to express any discomfort. Expressing it will create a more relaxed atmosphere.

• Know how to listen:
  Listening is an essential part of authentic and efficient communication. The teacher must impart his/her knowledge while being attentive to students' questions, lack of understanding, concerns, worries and thoughts.

• Have an open mind:
  The teacher must show an open attitude so that the students feel comfortable expressing themselves more freely. The teacher should, for example, accept to hear students' opinions, value the students and be aware that their opinions can change over time.

• Be flexible:
  The teacher should be flexible and try to respond to concerns and needs that may arise during the workshop, even if doing so does not perfectly correspond to the suggested content.

• Respect privacy:
  The teacher must specify that he/she intends to discuss facts and opinions, and not his/her own sexual experiences nor those of any student.

• Remain calm:
  The teacher must calmly listen to the students as they express their opinions, even if he/she does not agree with their statements.

• Ask for the students' opinion:
  The teacher should ask the students to express their opinions - not ask for confessions.

• Answer questions:
  It is preferable that the teacher answer questions as they arise. Should the teacher, however, be unsure of the proper answer he/she should look it up rather than give out the wrong information.

• Practice talking about sexuality:
  It may turn out to be useful for the teacher to practice speaking about sexuality with people close to him/her before presenting a workshop in front of a class.

To establish a good line of communication with the students the teacher must avoid making the following mistakes:

• Openly criticizing any students' opinions. This attitude may lead the student(s) to become aggressive and will shut down any further communication;

• Lecturing. For example: "In my day we would not have thought/done those kinds of things!";

• Laughing at an opinion or a comment, even if it is naïve or amusing.

Optional Activity

This exercise may allow the teacher and the students to feel more at ease talking about sexuality.

The teacher begins by explaining that it is perfectly normal to feel embarrassed when it comes to the subject of sex. In order to transmit the content more easily, the teacher initiates a discussion based on the following questions:

• Why do we feel uncomfortable on the subject of sex?
• Why is it so embarrassing to talk about sexuality?
• What makes you laugh?

The teacher concludes by explaining that most of the embarrassment may be attributed to the fact that sexuality remains a taboo subject that touches on our very privacy. It is also a topic that is rarely broached among families and inside classrooms, so we are not used to discussing it openly.

Length: 5 minutes

Teacher's role:

• Allowing the students to express themselves
• Showing openness to students' comments and thoughts
• Answering questions if need be

Required material: None

References 

1. Gouvernement du Québec. 1996. Sexualité , MTS, et sida, parlons-en ! Ministère de la Santé et des Services Sociaux, 19 p. 
2. Pinsonneault, S. 1994. Problématique de l'intervention à l'éducation sexuelle en milieu social - Notes de cours, Département de sexologie, Université du Québec à Montréal. 
3. Health and Welfare Canada. 1990. We Need To Know About AIDS : A Guide For Parents On Talking With Their Children About AIDS, 29 p.

Prepared for the Population and Public Health Branch
By Elysabeth Lacombe & Maryse Peyskens, Impact