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When the holiday season winds down and family and friends return home, social gatherings come to an end, and the "to do" lists all have been completed, some people are left feeling exhausted and depressed. Although happy gatherings, delicious food, and time away from work and school characterize the holiday season, for most people this time of cheer and good will also includes varying amounts of stress.

The busyness, obligations, over-indulgence and unmet expectations of the holidays often leave people with little time to relax and focus on the real messages of the season. At the end of the holidays, many people feel physically, emotionally, and financially drained. Unfortunately, the New Year can bring stresses of its own that make recovering from the holiday season more difficult. These stresses include paying off holiday debts, dealing with the aftermath of family disagreements and keeping New Year’s resolutions.

Paying Off Christmas Debt

Gift-giving, entertaining, outings, taking time off work, and travelling can all contribute to accumulating a debt over the holiday season. To help eliminate this year’s holiday debt, and to minimize it in the future:

• Take a close look at your spending habits. Where is your money going? What kind of items are you putting on your credit cards? What is your income compared to what you are spending?



• Discuss budgeting and debt with your partner and family. Set goals together to minimize and eliminate debt.



• Make a list of ways to cut your spending. Put the money that you save towards your debt.



• Limit the number of credit cards that you have and leave them at home. Try to always pay with cash or check.



• Pay off the balance on your credit card with the highest interest first. Always pay the minimum balance on all other cards.

Dealing With Family Disagreements and Conflicts

The cherished holiday rituals and traditions that make each family unique can also contribute to family disagreements and conflict—family conflict is the greatest source of holiday-related stress for many people. When people bring their different values, beliefs and expectations to the same event, disagreements can occur over how things should be done. Unfortunately, little disagreements often lead to larger conflicts when people are feeling emotional, exhausted, and stressed. Family members may use minor disagreements to express old hurts and raise sensitive issues at a time when they are supposed to be celebrating peace and love.

Family conflict can spoil the holiday time itself and may also leave an aftermath of anger and hurt when the holidays are over. The best way to resolve conflict, and to lessen the likelihood of it recurring every year, is to take a proactive position and talk about it. Although this may seem difficult when you are feeling angry or hurt, if your primary goal is to maintain a lasting and healthy relationship with family members, it helps to approach conflict with an attitude of “us against the problem” instead of "me against you".

Resolving conflict is about understanding someone else’s point of view. Take the time to listen to how other people interpret the situation. What do they think, how do they feel, what do they want, what do they believe they have done to contribute to the situation? When you try to understand the positions of others, they will likely show you the same respect and listen to your side. Once you understand one another, it is easier to brainstorm ways to resolve the differences in your opinions.

Keeping New Year's Resolutions

On January 1^st of each year many people take inventory of their lives and decide to make improvements. In theory, New Year’s resolutions work well because they encourage us to choose healthier and more satisfying lifestyles. Unfortunately, in practice, we often abandon our resolutions within days or weeks and then feel guilty, discouraged, and depressed for not accomplishing our goals.

It is important to remember that keeping resolutions is a process, not a one-time effort. New Year’s resolutions provide opportunities to create new habits one step and one day at a time. To help you succeed with your New Year’s resolutions:

• Examine your motivation for change. Make a list of the benefits of changing and keep it in a visible place.



• Set realistic goals. Develop a plan that includes taking small steps towards your larger goals. Allow for imperfection and have a back-up plan and coping strategies for when challenges come up.



• Form a support system to cheer you on and challenge you to stick to your goals. Surround yourself with people who encourage you in forming new habits.



• Keep track of your progress. Give yourself rewards and praise for accomplishing each milestone.



• Make tasks non-negotiable. If you have promised yourself that you will exercise Tuesdays and Thursdays after work, then go without excuses.



• View resolutions as an opportunity to try new things, not as a punishment.

Beyond our Borders

Keeping your New Year's Resolutions
Texas Medical Association

How to keep up with thoses New Year's resolutions: researchers find commitment is the secret of success
University of Washington

Books and other publications:

The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom: Practical and Spiritual Steps So You Can Stop Worrying
by Suze Orman

This book encourages readers to explore their attitudes, beliefs and behaviours shaped by early experiences, so they can overcome current financial barriers. The author is a certified financial planner. Examples, exercises, strategies and tips are offered for achieving financial self-fulfilment.

Family Life Skill Cards from BC Council for Families

These easy-to-use skill building cards are designed to lead people through a step-by-step conflict resolution process and build effective communication skills.