"I will never forget the first time a little boy in my family day care
brought his new baby brother to my home. He was so very proud to be a big brother
and spent the day teaching the other children in the day care how to diaper,
feed and play with his sibling. Both children felt comforted by having another
member of their family with them; the younger child never felt the same separation
anxiety as the older child.
The parents were also more comfortable leaving such a young child in care,
as their older son was able to tell them about the baby's day. All of the children
loved to look at the pictures of the older sibling when he was a baby in my
care. It was interesting for me as the child care provider to see the similarities
and differences in the siblings."
Diane Mitchell, family child care provider
The stress of juggling child care
Parents with two or more children know the frustration of looking for child
care that will accommodate siblings. Apart from the convenience of bringing
their children to the same setting, parents want their children to be together
so that they can develop shared experiences and memories in order to encourage
strong, lifelong sibling relationships. For many parents, family child care
is the ideal solution.
What is 'family child care'?
Family
child care is care that is offered in the provider's home, in a family setting,
and may also be referred to as "family day home" or "home child care." There
are an estimated 170,000 family child care providers in Canada; they provide
51% of all child care in Canada (from Our
Child Care Workforce: From Recognition to Remuneration).
There are two types of family child care in Canada: regulated child care, where
the caregiver's home is approved and supervised by an independent agency and
unregulated child care, where the caregiver follows provincial/territorial guidelines
and is supervised by the parents who use the service. Many providers care for
children from birth to 12 years of age and often care for two or three children
from the same family at the same time.
The benefits of a family setting
The family child care setting offers a "home away from home" for
siblings. In many cases, children benefit from long term continuity of care
since they may have the same child care provider from infancy until they no
longer need care. The home-like setting allows brothers and sisters to grow,
develop and learn, using the neighbourhood and everyday routines as learning
opportunities.
Family child care can also provide a supervised, nurturing environment to deal
with sibling rivalry, a natural and normal part of sibling relationships. When
rivalry does occur in a family child care setting, it presents opportunities
for siblings of any age to learn how to handle disagreements, use words instead
of muscles to solve conflicts and express their feelings appropriately.
Nurturing the sibling relationship
Current
research reinforces the importance of nurturing sibling relationships. Some
studies have highlighted the uniqueness of sibling relationships and have shown
that, later in life, those relationships become more influential than those
with parents, spouse or children. The strength of the sibling relationship begins
with the birth of the second child and develops throughout childhood. "In
early childhood, siblings are constant companions and playmates - the sibling
relationship influences social and cognitive learning".
Researchers have also found that when seeking emotional support and nurturing,
siblings will often turn to each other before anyone else. As noted by Kathleen
Stassen Berger in The Developing Person Through Childhood and Adolescence
(Worth Publishers, Inc.: New York, New York), "Siblings are also more likely
to have positive interactions with each other, showing more nurturance and cooperation
than they would be likely to show with an unrelated child." Younger siblings
are also more likely to respond to demands, directions and restrictions placed
on them by the older sibling than an unrelated child.
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How do you find quality child
care?
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Finding and keeping
quality child care can be challenging.
Knowing the right questions to ask is the first step in making
a quality child care choice.
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Family child care supports the family
A family child care provider with a high quality program will encourage relationship
building by using everyday family activities, along with the skills and knowledge
of the older siblings to help teach the younger ones. For example, an older
sister's daily activities - setting the table for lunch, sharing and taking
turns with the toys, using the toilet and putting on a coat for outdoor play
-- provide opportunities for her younger brother to learn through observing
and imitating. An older brother may learn and model patience, empathy
and tolerance by helping his younger sister to dress, redirecting her from scribbling
on a picture book, or teaching her the hand actions to a song or game.
Expanding the definition of a 'sibling'
Children in family child care often develop into their own family unit, considering
everyone at the day care to be their "daytime brothers and sisters."
Many parents report that their children have maintained the friendships they
developed in family child care long after they leave the care environment.
As with natural siblings, rivalries also can develop between child care 'siblings'.
For example, when a new child enters an established family child care setting,
there may be feelings of jealousy. The family child care provider can help a
new child feel comfortable by encouraging the other children to show the child
where to put jackets and boots, where toys are kept, and where they all sleep
and eat. Encouraging the children in family child care to play an active role
in welcoming a new child will help to create an atmosphere of cooperation and
acceptance, ensuring the new child is not seen as a rival.
When seeking child care for your children, explore the positive benefits of
family child care. It can be the perfect environment for your children to become
best friends, faithful allies, comforters, confidants, role models and motivators.
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