So Much for Brevity

Las Vegas punk-pop band Panic! at the Disco (photo courtesy Warner Music Canada).

Many qualities distinguish Las Vegas band Panic! at the Disco: age (they’re still teens), genuine musicianship, a love of synthesizers, lyrical ambition. Oh, and really long song names. With titles like There’s a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought of It Yet, Panic! at the Disco are unapologetically prolix.

They’re not alone. Due to the efforts of artists like Fall Out Boy, Sufjan Stevens and the Flaming Lips, expansive song names have become a mini-industry. Are long titles a symptom of the modern supersize impulse, where cars, houses and fast-food combos all test the limits of space (and good taste)? Are they a product of self-conscious humour? Or are they a cheeky recognition that in the iPod era, consumers are more concerned with song numbers than titles — thus freeing the artists to indulge their logorrhoea?

Alas, musicians heed their own artistic whims, not broader sociological trends, so there’s no catch-all explanation. Here are five repeat offenders, each of whom seems to have their own reason for running amok with words.

Fall Out Boy

Genre: Punk-pop
Samples: I Slept With Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written about Me; Our Lawyer Made Us Change the Name of This Song So We Wouldn’t Get Sued
Length of longest title: 19 words
Most likely motivation for run-on titles: Demystifying the life of a band — and wearing self-consciousness as a badge of honour. Though many-times-removed from true punks like the Clash and the Sex Pistols, Fall Out Boy still feel a need for rebellion. Theirs takes the form of effusive titles with references to either (a) Fall Out Boy, or (b) recent pop culture, like the song A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More “Touch Me”, a nod to both the 1984 John Hughes movie and Samantha Fox’s big hit from 1986.

Panic! at the Disco

Genre: Punk-pop… with renegade syntax
Samples: The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage; Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off
Length of longest title: 16 words
Most likely motivation for run-on titles: Added value. Like their pals in Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco are self-consciously clever. Witness the chorus to London Beckoned Songs About Money Written by Machines: “Oh, and just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of / A: Indifference and (or) / B: Disinterest in what the critics say.” Panic! at the Disco’s lyrics rarely cite the song names. The band clearly treats titling as another opportunity to editorialize.

Sufjan Stevens performs at the Tibet House 16th Annual Benefit Concert at New York City's Carnegie Hall on March 1, 2006 (photo Scott Wintrow/Getty Images).

Sufjan Stevens

Genre: Pastoral pop
Samples: The Black Hawk War, or, How to Demolish an Entire Civilization and Still Feel Good About Yourself in the Morning, or, We Apologize for the Inconvenience But You’re Going to Have to Leave Now, or, “I have fought the Big Knives and will continue to fight them until they are off our lands!”; To the Workers of the Rockford River Valley Region, I have an Idea Concerning Your Predicament, and it involves shoe string, a lavender garland, and twelve strong women
Length of longest title: 52 words
Most likely motivation for run-on titles: Heart-bursting sincerity. This Michigan-born troubadour is not only a magnificent songwriter but a poster boy for earnestness. Stevens frequently sings about the unheralded dignity of working-class Americans, which may be why his titles often have the urgency of labour posters.

Of Montreal

Genre: Indie pop
Samples: Dustin Hoffman’s Wife Makes a Sarcastic Remark, Cuts the Head off of a Duck, Places It Where the Tub Was and Begins to Groan (Growl); A Man’s Life Flashing Before His Eyes While He and His Wife Drive Off a Cliff Into the Ocean
Length of longest title: 25 words
Most likely motivation for run-on titles: Art for art’s sake. The band — which is actually “of” Athens, Georgia — creates quirky pop excursions. Of Montreal’s song titles, like some of their songs, reflect a band not afraid to cultivate its fertile imagination; in 2001, Of Montreal released an album called Coquelicot Asleep in the Poppies: A Variety of Whimsical Verse.

The Flaming Lips

Genre: Transcendental pop
Samples: What Is the Light? (An untested theory hypothesis suggesting that the chemical [in our brains] by which we are able to experience the sensation of being in love is the same chemical that caused the “Big Bang” that was the birth of the accelerating universe); Talkin’ ‘Bout The Smiling Deathporn Immortality Blues (Everyone Wants To Live Forever)
Length of longest title: 55 words
Most likely motivation for run-on titles: Hey, you don’t become torchbearers for latter-day psychedelia with titles like The Lovecats.

Andre Mayer writes about the arts for CBC.ca.

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