PHOTO ESSAY

Coming Attractions

Improving the modern movie experience

By Graham Roumieu
April 14, 2006
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Early this year, filmmaker John Waters speculated that declining movie-ticket sales are a result of theatres failing to evolve with the times and meet the changing demands of the movie-going public. “I’d say it’s because the American public would rather stay home and eat fattening food, and they can’t go two hours in a movie theatre without eating,” he said. “Maybe it’s the quality of the food, not the quality of the movies. The movies are good. Maybe if the theatres had more fatty food on hand.” If he’s right, it’s reasonable to assume that stale popcorn is only one of several shortcomings in the modern movie experience. It is up to the owners of theatres everywhere to make service and convenience changes in order to fill their seats with satisfied customers. Click through these five panels to find out how.

Complaint 1: Please shut your yap.

Complaint 1: Please shut your yap.

Since the fall of fascism there has been a steady decline in manners and attentiveness at public gatherings. Sick of ringing phones and people yammering or coughing too hard? Be sick no longer. Not only will there be more ushers patrolling the aisles, but they will be armed with tasers, batons and the legal authority to dispense corporal punishment to anyone who breaches the sound (i.e., silence) barrier.

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Graham Roumieu

Coming Attractions
Improving the modern movie experience