Arts & Entertainment

QUIZ

Sex Ed

Test your knowledge of sex in film

By Kevin J. Siu
When Whitby, Ont.-born stage actress May Irwin shared the first-ever onscreen kiss in 1896, she probably had no idea it would lead to Michael Winterbottom’s 9 Songs. Opening this summer in North America, the UK director’s 69-minute film is the latest in a contemporary spate of movies to flout mainstream cinema taboo with depictions of graphic, unsimulated sex. Controversy? Well, Brit mag Time Out praised 9 Songs as “a love story that is tender, exciting, credible and sometimes erotic.” The BBC’s website panned it as a “stultifying, self-conscious and flesh-creepingly repulsive lot of codswallop.” Meanwhile, London newspaper The Observer was just bored, likening it to “a rather solemn sex-education film.” Now, that’s progress.  

1. What quip, from a fellow diner patron, punctuates Sally’s (Meg Ryan) fake orgasm scene in 1989’s When Harry Met Sally?
“I’ll have what she’s having!”
“Cheque, please!”
“Oh no, she didn’t!”
“You go, girl!”
“Homina, homina!”
2. What vehicle is fetishized in David Cronenberg’s 1996 adaptation of the J.G. Ballard novel Crash?
The Concorde
The automobile
The snowmobile
The skateboard
The Segway
3. In 1999’s American Pie, Jim Levinstein (Jason Biggs) attempts intercourse with what flavour of the titular pastry?
Apple
Pecan
Cherry
Coconut cream
Lemon meringue
4. What X-rated movie did United Artists trumpet with a two-page ad, reprinting New Yorker film critic Pauline Kael’s full 4,000-word review, in which she wrote, “This must be the most powerfully erotic movie ever made, and it may turn out to be the most liberating movie ever made, and so it's probably only natural that an audience, anticipating a voluptuous feast from the man who made The Conformist, and confronted with this unexpected sexuality, and the new realism it requires of the actors, should go into shock”?
Caligula
Last Tango in Paris
Don’t Look Now
Basic Instinct
Porky’s
5. Which of the following foods was not erotically employed in 9½ Weeks?
Maraschino cherries
Strawberries
Honey
Whipped cream
Kraft Singles
6. Philip Kaufman’s 1990 literary mate-swapping film Henry & June — the first-ever recipient of the NC-17 rating (a.k.a. the art-house X) — was based on the diary of what writer?
Henry Miller
Anaïs Nin
Marguerite Duras
Collette
Marquis de Sade
7. In Lynne Stopkewich’s 1996 movie Kissed — based on Barbara Gowdy’s short story We So Seldom Look On Love — where does Sandra (Molly Parker) find a job to satisfy her sexual curiosity?
A shoe store
A funeral home
A comic book shop
Canadian Tire
Tim Horton’s
8. In the 1994 Atom Egoyan film Exotica, what fantasy persona does Christina (Mia Kirshner) adopt when working at the strip club?
Dominatrix
Candy-striper
Librarian
Traffic cop
Schoolgirl
9. Howard Hughes’ 1943 movie The Outlaw was delayed from release for three years over objections to its lascivious depiction of lead actress (and sweater girl) Jane Russell. What article of clothing did Hughes and his engineers invent expressly for the movie (though it was ultimately not used in the film)?
The bikini
The underwire bra
The miniskirt
The stiletto heel
The Mansierre (a.k.a. the Bro)
10. In an interview with super-fan movie website CHUD.com, puppeteer Stephen Chiodo remarked, “I think having a love scene with puppets is really pretty brilliant…. And they just push it further and further until you see puppets do things you've never seen puppets do before.” What film was Chiodo talking about?
Being John Malkovich
Bride of Chucky
Team America: World Police
Labyrinth
The Great Muppet Caper