Many parents assume that their teenagers are not sexually active.
This is true for many teenagers. Still, in Canada,
about 45,000 teenage women get pregnant every year. Teenagers also have some
of the highest rates of sexually
transmitted infections (STIs). So whether you think they're sexually active
or not, it's important to talk to your children about sexuality and sexual health.
Where do I start?
You might want to start at your local bookstore or library. Look for a book
on talking to young people about sexuality. You can also call your local public
health department or Canadian Federation for
Sexual Health Member Organization. Ask for pamphlets and other materials
that will help you talk to your children.
When and how do I bring the subject up?
Newspapers, magazines, and TV often have content related to sex and can be
a conversation-starter.
For example, if two young people on a TV program are about to have sex, you
might ask your teenager:
- "Do you think they are too young to have sex?"
- "Do you think that couple is practising safer sex?"
As you start to talk about it more, you can also tell them that you want them
to feel it's okay to come to you for guidance. It's important to remember that
if your children tell you things about themselves that make you angry or upset,
it probably won't help if the conversation turns into a yelling match.
This doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell your children how you feel or what
your values are. In fact, this is one of the most important things you can tell
them. You may also find it helpful to tell your teenagers where you got your
information about sexuality when you were a teenager and how you felt about
that information.
How else can I help them?
Helping your teenager to make decisions and making sure they have the correct
information they need is a great start. But your children need to apply what
they learn in real-life situations.
For example, maybe your teenager has made the decision not to have sex. You
may want to discuss how they can talk to their boyfriend or girlfriend about
it. If they do decide to have sex, you can help them think about how to talk
to their partner about safer sex and birth control.
No matter what choice your teenager makes, it's important that they have correct
information.
Additional resources
Families are Talking – SIECUS
How
do I talk to my teen about sex? – Canadian Federation for Sexual Health
Raising sexually healthy children – Peel Health
Sexually active teens – Planned Parenthood Edmonton (PPE)
Talking contraception and sexuality with your child
– sexualityandu.ca
Cyprian, J. (1998). Teaching Human Sexuality: A Guide for Parents and Other
Caregivers. Washington, DC:
Child Welfare League of America.
ISBN 0-87868-661-4. To order call (301) 617-7825.
Additional resources for health intermediaries
Sex Information and Education Council of Canada (SIECCAN)
Canadian guidelines for sexual health education –
Public Health
Agency of Canada
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