In our society, pregnant women and mothers often aren’t thought of as ”sexual,”
but women are sexual beings at all stages of their lives. Pregnancy is a time
of change and adjustment that affects every part of a woman's life, including
her sexuality. As these changes happen, there are many ways for pregnant women
to experience sexual intimacy. Communication between partners is the key to
making sure that sexual relationships are comfortable and satisfying, especially
during pregnancy.
Is it safe to have sex during pregnancy?
Yes. Sexual activity during pregnancy is healthy and safe, unless your doctor
or midwife has told you otherwise. You may be advised to not have sex if you:
- have miscarried before
- have bleeding in the
first trimester
- have a low-lying placenta
- have a history of premature
labour
- have a lot contractions
in the last month of pregnancy.
It's also important to think about protection from sexually
transmitted infections (STIs) during pregnancy. If either partner has an
STI, is HIV-positive or has had other sexual contact outside the relationship,
practising safer sex is recommended. Talk to your health care provider
for more information about the safety of sex during pregnancy.
Does sexual desire change during pregnancy?
It can. Physical and emotional changes during pregnancy can affect pregnant
women's desires and comfort levels. Every woman is different and every pregnancy
is different. Some women feel more attractive and enjoy sex more during pregnancy.
Others have little or no interest in sex during pregnancy. A woman's partner
may experience changes in desire as well. It's important for partners to talk
about these changes and how they feel.
What are some common changes that might happen?
First trimester
- Parts of the body, such
as the breasts, can become more sensitive. Some women find this uncomfortable
while other women find it pleasurable.
- Morning sickness or feeling
tired and uncomfortable can also make women less interested in sex.
- Throughout pregnancy,
air should not be blown into the vagina during oral sex to avoid complications.
Second trimester
- Pain and discomfort such
as backaches and soreness around the breasts and belly may affect sexual desire.
- For many women, sexual
desire increases during this stage of pregnancy.
- Stimulating the breasts
can cause colostrum to come out. This is normal.
- Partners may have to
try different sexual positions or activities to discover those that are most
comfortable and pleasurable.
Third trimester
- Feeling tired, feeling
”big” and having concerns about giving birth can decrease sexual desire.
- A woman might feel the
fetus move after she has an orgasm.
- As the fetus moves into
the pelvis in the 9th month, vaginal penetration may become uncomfortable.
Can having sex make me to go into labour?
Pregnant women often have mild contractions during arousal and orgasm, but
these contractions aren't powerful enough to start childbirth unless it's already
time.
Nipple stimulation and intercourse are sometimes used to help start labour
when a baby is overdue. Sperm contains a small amount of a hormone-like substance
called prostaglandin, which softens the cervix and may help start labour. Women
who are at a high risk of going into early labour may be advised to avoid orgasm,
nipple stimulation and intercourse, or to use a condom for intercourse to avoid
putting the uterus in contact with sperm.
When is it okay to start having sex after the baby is born?
This depends on the desire and comfort level of each woman. Interest in sex
may decrease and sex may be painful for some women after childbirth because
of:
- feeling tired from caring
for a newborn
- physical discomfort
- less vaginal lubrication
- hormonal changes.
Doctors often recommend waiting about 4-6 weeks before having intercourse.
When bleeding (lochia) stops, it shows that the cervix is closed and that, physically,
intercourse is safe. It's also important to wait until any tearing, episiotomy
or caesarean scars have healed. Again, it's important to keep the lines of communication
open between partners. A woman should do what feels right and not feel rushed.
What else should I know about sex and intimacy after childbirth?
Breastfeeding:
Breastfeeding can often cause feelings similar to sexual arousal or orgasm.
Sometimes breastfeeding causes vaginal dryness. Using a water-based lubricant
can make vaginal stimulation more enjoyable.
Birth control:
You can get pregnant soon after giving birth, so it's important to think about
birth control. Many different birth control methods can be used post-partum,
even by women who are breastfeeding. It's a good idea to talk to your health-care
provider about post-partum birth control before the baby is born, so you have
time to think about your options.
Additional resources
Will
a baby change our relationship? – Canadian
Health Network (CHN)
Sex and childbirth – Women's Health Matters (WHM)
Sex during pregnancy – sexualityandu.ca
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