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very year, as soon as Hallowe'en comes to an end, we are suddenly inundated with holiday music, advertising, television shows, movies and seasonal displays in virtually every store.

For people who are planning to spend the time with family and friends, this flood of holiday information is either welcome or relatively easy to ignore. But for those who face a holiday alone because of a death in the family or divorce, or any other reason, every song, show and shopping excursion can be a difficult reminder of what is to come.

It's easy to say that the holidays are just regular days and should be treated as such by those who are alone, but that's not the truth. Many people, even among those with family and friends to spend time with, find the holidays stressful or depressing.

The holidays are a time when a loved one's absence is more pronounced, when finances are stretched to the limit and when unpleasant family dynamics may have to be faced. Being alone simply adds another layer.

1. Plan ahead. After years of holiday experience, you already have a pretty good idea of what lies ahead. Think about what you want to do and what you want to avoid. What do you anticipate as being potentially unsettling? A particular day or event? What can you do to take the sting out of it?



2. Look after yourself. Any time of year, plenty of exercise, fresh air and good-quality food keep us healthy and feeling good. While the temptation may be to hibernate during the holidays, now's really not the time. Enjoy as much sunshine as you can, and exercise regularly, even if it's just a daily walk around the neighbourhood.



3. Step out of yourself. You can be sure there are plenty of people who would benefit from your companionship. Are there neighbours, co-workers or acquaintances that may be alone during the holidays as well? Consider putting together a meal with them, like a friendly potluck dinner. Or volunteer at a food bank, soup kitchen, shelter, church, synagogue or local community centre. Doing something positive for others will really benefit your mental health.



4. Create new "traditions." Maybe you have always spent your holidays with a friend or family member who has died; doing things the "old" way but without that person accentuates the loss. That goes double if you're facing a holiday without your children, who may be spending the day with your 'ex'.
   
   Readjust the holiday date in your mind and start a new tradition. Maybe you won't have your kids on Dec. 25, but what's wrong with celebrating Christmas on Dec. 22 or 27? Then, when they are with their other parent, you can plan something nice for yourself instead-a movie, lunch with a friend, a mini-road trip, a long bubble bath. Remember that it might take a while for your new traditions to feel comfortable.



5. Change your environment. If you're unattached, try and make the most of it. Check out holiday trip packages in warmer or more exotic climates, and if you can afford it get out of town. If getting out of town is not a possibility, consider planning an overnight with a friend. Being in an unfamiliar place can be one of the best distractions from day-to-day life.



6. Ask for help. Even with the best of planning, spending the holidays alone may not feel like a complete success at first. If you are feeling blue, reach out to friends and tell them. No one wants to think that a friend is sad and alone when they don't want to be. If you feel you need more than that, don't hesitate to talk to your doctor or other health professional.

Remember that being alone isn't the same as being lonely. Do whatever you can to take your mind off the difficult parts of the season. Keep busy and try to laugh every chance you get.