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    Jul 16, 2008

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    The Week In Review

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    Horoscope

    Virgo August 23 - September 22

    Recent advances in forensic science may sound impressive, but the entire field is still years away from determining what will happen to you.

    Features

    • 10.22.2008

    • Stockwatch

      ICG

      After worrying they had pursued a faulty strategy by blowing billions they didn't have on reckless investments, executives breathed easy when the government passed the bill along to taxpayers.

      10.21.2008

    • 10.21.2008

    • Valhalla Buffalo Houma

      National News Highlights

      United States Map

      Roll over locations for news

      • VALHALLA, NC—Nurse Jessica Kenney adjusted her favorite patient’s IV bag into a more dignified position.
      • BUFFALO, NY—Dale Ephraim, 48, refused to pay his cable bill on the grounds that he didn't like what was on the CW this month.
      • HOUMA, LA—Nobody cares that Tab Loumay makes his own hot sauce.

      10.20.2008

    • 10.20.2008

    • TV Listings

      All Larry King's Men

      CNN

      6 p.m. EDT/5 p.m. CDT

      A deeper look into the lives of the fascinating men who have had sex with America's most popular talk show host.

      10.17.2008

    • Sunday Magazine

      How Will History Remember Pol Pot?

      More Magazines

      10.17.2008

    • TV Listings

      Dirty Sexy Money

      ABC

      9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT

      Idealistic lawyer Nick George helps patriarch Simon Elder sort his money into two piles: dirty and sexy.

      10.16.2008

    • 10.16.2008

    • Letters to the Editor

      Dear The Onion,

      Are the letters to the editor really as short as they appear in the paper, or are they edited for

      —Deborah Geiff, Pueblo, CO

      10.15.2008

    • 10.15.2008

    • Stockwatch

      Goldman Sachs

      Investor confidence in the bank was bolstered after a look at company headquarters revealed it was not engulfed in flames.

      10.14.2008

    • 10.14.2008

    • TV Listings

      Has It Biodegraded?

      PBS

      8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. CDT

      The show's host tracks plastic bottles, diapers, and circuit boards tagged and buried 10 years ago to see how they're coming along.

      10.02.2008

    • Corrections

      Yesterday's page 11 article about Tuesday's city council meeting was basically all wrong. If you still have the issue, please take a red ink pen and cross the article out.

      10.01.2008

    • TV Listings

      Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

      ABC

      12:30 p.m. EDT/11:30 a.m. CDT

      In a last-ditch effort to revive the stale, 10-year-old game show, producers allow contestants to "phone-someone-who-knows-the-answer."

      09.25.2008

    • Letters to the Editor

      Dear The Onion,

      The articles in your Finance section are too complicated. From now on, could you instruct your journalists to use more hockey metaphors so that I know what's going on?

      —Andrew Horesh, St. Paul, MN

      09.24.2008

    • TV Listings

      Clean Jobs

      DISC

      9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT

      Each week, host LeVar Burton travels the country taking on some of the safest and most sanitary jobs that America has to offer. Tonight: LeVar manages a Virginia Beach Zales franchise.

      09.18.2008

    Issue Highlights

    • Swerving Out Of Way At Last Minute Praised As Great Driving

    • Flag Football Game Ends With Participants Believing They Played Football

    • Leather-Clad Gang Looks Capable Of Stylized Violence

    • Area Man Takes Up Piano For Sole Purpose Of Learning 'Jurassic Park' Theme

    Personal of the Day