Hot Today
Donald Trump Would Be Sad If Someone Had To Shoot Hillary. But That’s How Democracy Works.
Donald Trump said maybe "Second Amendment People" could stop Hillary from appointing justices to the Supreme Court. Why would anyone take that the wrong way?
California Gun Group Very Upset It Can’t Tell You Exactly Where State Legislators Live, So You Can Visit.
A group of California gun enthusiasts is suing for the right to post the home addresses and phone numbers of legislators who voted for six recently-passed gun bills, so everyone can easily find their local tyrant.
Put Down Your Suicide Implements, Wonkers! It Is Happy Hillary Hug-Times, Hooray!
I don't know why we gave you dead faith-healed children, and then dead decapitated children, and then that asshole Garbage Man, Garbage Garbage, all in a row. But I do know that not even...
Girlfriend-Kicking Garbage Tech Dude Gurbaksh Chahal May Finally Go To Jail!
The most he's getting is two years, but at least it's something?
Where’s Weirdest Place Ex-Sen. Scott Brown And Wife Ever ‘Did It’? No, Not In The Butt.
Where's the strangest place Scott Brown and his wife, who he may have seen naked more than once, have ever done sexxytimes? None of your business!
Wonkette Business
Switch To Clean Energy, Help The Earth And Your Wonkette All At Once With One Non-Weird Trick
Here's a company that's using the good ol' free market to expand the reach of clean wind power. You want to save the planet, don't you?
Oh Whoops We Just Forced You To Buy This Shirt Of Hillary Clinton Cutting Off Trump’s Head
Do you know the story of Judith and Holofernes? Judith was a rad Jewish woman, and Holofernes was a ... Roman? general who wanted to rape her. She was like "cool, Holofernes, I will...
Would You Like Wonkette In Your Box Every Morning?
How long has it been since you examined your box? Do you like to examine it in the morning, when the sunlight hits it just right? When you examine your box, tell us, is...
2016 Election Chaos
Wonkette Bazaar
Kansas Lawmaker’s Child Reportedly FREAKING DECAPITATED By Unregulated Waterpark
Well, this is horrible, but it's the Daily Mail, so let's pray they're wrong: A 10-year-old boy in Kansas, son of a Republican lawmaker, was reportedly FUCKING DECAPITATED at Kansas City's Schlitterbahn Waterpark Sunday....
Donald Trump Is Losing Because, At Heart, He’s The Class Clown
Earlier this week I had the unpleasant realization that I have something in common with Donald Trump. I was at work, and I cracked a joke that I shouldn't have.
I do this a lot,...
Idaho Faith Healers Fixin’ To Ignore Any Satanic Laws Requiring Them To Keep Their Kids Alive
A member of an Idaho faith-healing cult told state legislators he won't follow a proposed law requiring parents to get medical help for sick children, because medicine is of the Devil.
Gay Hatin’ Mayor Caught Playing Strip Poker With Underage Boys, Because Of Course He Was
Stockton Republican Mayor Anthony Silva accused of recording teen playing strip poker with him at the camp he worked at.
Roger Ailes Slimed All Over Andrea Tantaros And Her Bikini
It was Roger Ailes, in the study, with his hamburger meatballs.
Dinesh D’Souza’s ‘Hillary’s America’ Turns Your Angry Wingnut Uncle’s Emails Into A Movie
We watche Dinesh D'Souza's latest movie so you won't have to.
Trump Unveils Great Childcare Plan For People Who Can Already Afford Childcare
Because the government should pay for that silver spoon in their kid's mouth.
Donald Trump Gives Boring Wrong Speech On Economy, But At Least Says ‘Titties’
Donald Trump gave another bad teleprompter speech aimed at proving he's not unhinged. Yeah, that should fix everything.
What Is Hillary Clinton Dying From Today?
She is dying of all the things, and all the things are dying of her, UNFORTUNATELY.
Congressjerk Darrell Issa To Open Years-Long Hearings On Why He Might Lose His Seat This Fall
Eternally smirking GOP congressdope Darrell Issa's House seat might actually be endangered this year. Here's hoping he goes extinct, with votes.
Hey Ladies! This Weird Pastor Dude Wants To Arm Wrestle You To Prove His Inherent Superiority
He's a little 'Over The Top,' no?
Scott Baio Doesn’t Care If You Hate Him For Loving Trump, HE DOESN’T CARE, SHUT UP!!!
How many times can Scott Baio say he doesn't care in one interview? A WHOLE MANY TIMES.
Maureen Dowd Writes A Short Story About Donald Trump, Gets C-Minus In Fiction 101
Maureen Dowd decided to write a funny story about Donald Trump. If we had to suffer through it, so do you.
Marco Rubio Dreams Of Forcing Zika-Infected Women To Give Birth To Microcephalic Children
You know, because he loves life so much.
‘Oath Keepers’ Militia Loons Pretty Sure John McCain Needs To Be Executed For Being Tortured
A rightwing militia group is certain that a recording of John McCain's 1969 forced confession proves he needs to be executed for treason. Protip: "patriot" groups who want to overthrow the government give lousy legal advice.
Justin Trudeau Can’t Stop Nakeding His Way Across North American Continent
Where will Naked Justin Trudeau show up next? AT OUR HOUSE MAYBE?
Gay-Hatin’ Alabama Judge Suspended, Just For Facebooking His Penis To Some Lady
Stop us if you've heard this one before!
