Parents need to be aware that Bullying has gone Hi-Tech
The presentation of the P.E.I. Home and School Federation to the P.E.I. legislature's standing committee on social development, March 9, 2006.

View the presentation (PDF - 32kb)

Part of the beauty of raising a child on Prince Edward Island is the protection and closeness of small communities where we know each other, but even here on PEI, parents need to be very aware of the larger Internet community, the ramifications and consequences of unsupervised Internet use in your home and ultimately the wellbeing and safety of your children.

Here is a story from an Island parent whose child is presently experiencing cyberbullying.

Out of respect for their privacy, they will not be identified; however the story is similar to that of many parents who are experiencing this sinister type of bullying. They speak first hand about the strategies they recommend and are using to protect their children.

The parent says,

We have to watch our daughter almost 24 hours a day because she has become so devastated about being bullied at school and being cyberbullied.

Our daughter has had embarrassing pictures taken of her in the school locker room and posted on a websites, emailed and spread physically around the school. She has received mean messages and threats through MSN and email.

As parents we have had to take excessive measures to protect our daughter as well as our two sons while at the same time allowing them access to computers, the Internet and MSN. We keep a very close eye on their computer use

Parents need to be educated on ways to monitor computer use. Here is a list of what we do which we hope will be helpful to other parents.

• Let your children know that you will be monitoring their computer use by looking at their Internet activity files. This is a condition of the privilege of using the computer. It is important to explain that you are doing this, not because you do not trust them, but because you want to protect them from Cyber-bullying , sexual predators, identity thieves and computer security and virus threats.
• Educate your children on the dangers of using the Internet to divulge personal information to people - especially if they do not personally know the individual they are communicating with. This information includes passwords, PIN numbers, birth dates, addresses, phone numbers, full names and personal pictures.
• Educate your children on the dangers of downloading software. Downloaded software can often include data miners which can send personal information about the user to identify thieves.
• If your children are using Hotmail for their email, set it up so they can only receive emails from people on their contact list. This option is under the Filter settings.
• Require that your child tells you their username and password for all MSN and email accounts.
• Turn on message logging for MSN accounts which will save the entire conversations they have online. Let your child know that this log must be left on and that you will be checking it.
• Make sure that the web browser (which could be Internet Explorer, Firefox, or Netscape) has its settings set to keep a history of the web pages your child is visiting. Check these periodically so you know where your child has browsed. View the browser's temporary files, looking for suspicious cookies or files.
• Go through the child's computer files looking for signs that they have received menacing emails and messages.
• If you have reason to be concerned, install a router or software with parental controls. This allows you to lock your child out of adult sites, and restrict the time of day the Internet can be used. Some parental controls keep a log of Internet activity as well which your child cannot override unless he/she knows the password. Net Nanny is the best known software for parental control. Linksys makes a parental control router for about $120 and then you must then subscribe to their service which costs about $40 per year. These parental control routers are the best solution if you have multiple computers and are concerned that your child may hack into software type controls.
• Search the Internet using Google, Yahoo or other popular search engines for instances of your child's name, username or other keyword that might help you locate harassing sites about your child. Another way to find these sites is to look at your child's contact list in MSN or other chat lines. Often the contact list includes the contact's website. Check out some of them to see if they have websites that you feel are harassing. Pay attention to contacts that your child has blocked.
• It is best to not allow your child to access the Internet from his/her own room. Rather the computer should be in a room that you are frequently in. Be concerned if your child is in the habit of switching screens as you walk by the computer. If you are going to allow computers in their room, then you should have the ability to monitor and block Internet access at the first sign of problems. Parents who allow computers in the child's room should have a high degree of computer expertise so they can supervise Internet activity.
• Talk to your child about the experiences they have on the Internet to make sure there is nothing sinister going on.

These are strategies that this family set up for their children. These parameters change with our trust and the age of our children and their understanding of the dangers around Cyber-bullying and Internet access.

Other Advice to Parents

• Be up front with your child that you will be periodically investigating files and Internet history.
• Tell your child that you may review their private conversations if you have reason to believe there is unsafe or irresponsible behaviour.
• Watch for secretive behaviour such as an empty history file or attempts to hide online communications.
• If you have serious concerns, install key-stroke software that will record all of your child's online communications and activities. Your child should be aware that you are doing this and what actions would lead to you checking their conversations.

There are a number of excellent websites that can educate parents and teachers about cyberbullying.

As communications technology develops, it is so important for parents to be aware of the technology and the dangers that it can pose for our children. It is very important to keep a good communication with our children, so they as well understand the full consequences of the technology they are using.

What can parents do to educate their children... ll What needs to be done?